IfOnlyItWereEasy

I soon learned to lock my door on a night. Not to protect myself from strangers, but to protect myself from the lilac haired candy coated monster that was Judy. The first night I woke up to see her grinning face a mere 3 inches from my own, I don't know how she didn't end up with a broken jaw. I think my brain just couldn't figure out what to do, or even what it was looking at. After all, who else wakes up at 5am to a lunatic holding onto a tortoise, sat on their chest? Nobody. You know why? Because it isn't freaking normal. But apparently nobody told Judy that. She'd woken up earlier than the rest of us, mainly due to the fact we'd been out until 3am drinking, and she had declared it boring and that she was going to go back to the hotel. But apparently coming back we'd awoken the creature from its slumber. So of course she did what we all do, went on her phone. Only most of us then don't arrange to go pick up two tortoises in a supermarket car park at 4am. 'How did you even find

When the announcement came, I didn't think anything of it at first. In fact it was almost a welcome relief, after all was there a more perfect excuse? 'Oh I am sorry I can't attend that party/signing/charity activity because the government said I couldn't. In fact, by not socialising I was being the model citizen. That was a first. Unfortunately this relief was very short-lived when it dawned on me, I was quarantined with Just Gone Midnight. It wasn't by choice, it was by necessity, a short term solution whilst we all got our lives back on track in the UK after a year long world tour. Izzy and Judy's apartment had fallen through at the last second, Day-z had driven her agent to the point of distraction with all her demands, so he had quit and left her to find her own place, and me... I'd simply forgotten I needed a place to live. It was relatively simple going from shows, to a hotel, to a bus, and repeating it day to day, the fact that I was returning to the UK hadn't even crossed my